update: whats been offered… or has it?

offering to take me in is kind BUT loosing all my treasures and stuff n home will kill me also, i just wanna be alone in peace now for me final days.

always told you you were covered and would get house… BUT u didn't offer to pay taxes you just stated they need to be paid now, right after i was starting to pay you.

as for space n visits, (name) there is no place to play, no place to be confortable, i dont have ppls in past yrs and bed most of time.

depression dont help.

i just know when ecomoney bounces back you can make out damn well, not even fixing it up just turning it over BUT i want stuff to go to certain people and i'm trying to set it up and all crumbles… nobody can stand my piss n moaning nowdays so i drive em all off.. then had ones who stole from me didn't help…

then go thru more crap with the family across the street was another reason i'm done.

given up almost (name).

as i said the FACTS are it wont be long as bodys getting way to thin to live off of and the will to die dont help once i've given up.

i dont get out past 3 yrs except to buy food or mail pkgs mostly, yes cpl yard sales with helper a few times to get out in fresh air and walk some.

i do still try to garden but hard.

as i said (name) been here 29 yrs and you know all thee struggles, nobody should have to go thru this… nobody not even a dog! they have more rights than i do seems.

now as for friends yrs back you decided you didn't want my emails cause i dont spell n write jibbrish… well least we had more contact… and thru past yrs how many times did you say you was gonna visit n never did.. then to outta the blue ream me out like you did threw me into a tizzy! Blood pressure was sky high when i went to drs, and hep levels off the chart.. again he tells me he could give me a few more years IF i'd start treatment.. NO i said I want outta here asap.

then searching end of life found Calif allows the Right to Die w/dignity that i can choose when time come IF i'm gonna be homeless or loose everything.

right now i dont have a clue as to whats next, all i know im searching my last days options, as there is no one who helps or cares so i do what any desporate person will do to merely survive what little time i do have left naturally or what i can do to get outta this stress n misery. 

right now all i see is being forclosed on or sue'd and thats the end for me cause my time here will be over n done with. still being here and trying to sell some treasures and garden while i can is all i have left. now if you wanna call that life.. so be it.

not like any good times have happened in yrs.

no of you even know what it is to be without family or anyone who can care or support.. so there no support system to even care to go onto.

can't you guys all understand that? my gosh…..

ok i need to take a pain pill n go back to bed, my helpers has dental n wont be here till afternoon later..

sucks having to rely on a stranger of sorts… days i could still drive but 4 yrs now no vehicle so thats out.

oh well give me some feedback but do NOT start to put me down and tell me how i always make such stupid decesions and crap… survival means doin what i see fit to help the cause, none has worked out to long, but perhaps served its purpose at the time.

ive come to the conclusion i was born to be alone n die alone, Lord must have something mighty speacial for me to have such life long battles, never have i come accross anyone who this went on ALL thru life, and i'm cariing, compasionate person and have always treated all around better than good.. and none ever stay long, too many problem and my mouth… so thats way i'm goin out..

no answers yet…give me imput, but now i dont even trust you after the panic call. sorry. you have no clue what that did to me (name).

and now how i'm suffering.

weigh'd this am 80#s and i dont care to even eat thinking it will hury it all up.

never meant for any to happen but was all outta my control.

as i said i can pay a cpl hundred but not taxes also.. 

crying now and i need to lay back down.

hope it all passes soon