Answer this...

God says HE will never put on us more than we can handle…

 so explain suicide….

Even "IF"….

even IF

the house was secured

cleaned, n inorder

roof didn't leak…

even IF

I had a vehicle

or had heat not wood…

even if

dogs had shots/tags n whatever 

Stuff I now suffer from wouldn't change

sick for yrs, teeth, gums infected (no coverage)

chronic migraines

psorisas

all the arthritis

bad back

bad eyes (no coverage)

lost ¾ my hair…

sick so much 

and all the rest.  people do not wanna be around people like me

way too many problems for the avg person to even comprehend, little on deal with.

nothing to look fwd to

i've been "occupying" for so many years now, life has finally taken its tole.

I've outlived life so seems.

I don't wanna be kept alive

I don't wanna have to depend on others to merely survive!

We need to have the right to say enough is enough and be able to leave 

BEFORE we become a vegetable, and burden on others or to even the state.

I REFUSE.

Facts….

Fact is i started paying upon her request..

then she started on bout taxes having to be paid..

Fact is I can't pay both.

Fact, she can foreclose or force sale, n wont get near the money she can if she'd just let me pay out what short time i have left… but 2 yrs state will take for taxes. FACT

Fact at 83#s n no will now to even continue to struggle or live, my body wont substain me much longer, i'm at kids weight. This is NOT life of any sorts

Fact to have to lay in bed days upon end n to have this on my mind 24/7 is stressed me to max, can't deal with it.

shouldn't have to is more like it. should be allowed my last days/yrs in peace.

Fact is "I give up".. chips will fall where they will, can't afford 300 hr for an atty. so thats it.

FACT The end is so near, hopefully i will find PEACE then!
and …

FACT: Business is Business, life is life, i've been proven that BUSINESS is far more important than LIFE!

I tried so hard to make it alright...

to make sure she was covered, she was a real life saver when i needed it. for that I can never repay enough.....

ask her several times re-do papers, add more to cover cost and i'll sign, never happened... even owed 2400+ and gave her an IOU notarized w/witnesses to let me have a few years to breathe as State went broke and cut most all programs and our money.. zoo did only think i knew that could help us both.

she accepted and even help'd many times as needed.. 

time ran out end of 2012, jan she wanted me pay 1/2... 200, i agreed and said be a bit as i'm still having to buy firewood n dog needs vet... well both are expensive..

so feb i said i'll send asap.. march 4 i sent 100, and march 8 100, she accepted and far as i knew all was fine, dog still needs vet BUT she was satisfied and I felt GOOD i'm now able to pay least 1/2! I was so happy...

wrote all about a great break-thru and how it was so great i could FINALLY have my last days in peace long as i can make payments on back taxes and pay her some then i was on my way back up once again for the final bout...

well, lasted less than a week..

3/11/ call, demands.. rude, i was in shock n in disbelief what i was hearing.. how I was gonna sign the house over to her and she was gonna come and clear a room and bring someone to trash stuff and get a heater installed and on n on n get it fixed to sell cause shes loosing money...

well she got paid 400 a month for 9 yrs straight, all interest and NEVER ever one day late!! I',m SOO proud of that! then tuff times and stuff.. and here were went again so i gave her the 20k IOU, offfered to sign new papers and all .. whatever...

NOW LOOK i maybe homeless.... I'm a basket case right now.

i can't afford a RE Atty.. and none here small town, long ways away and ill and shakin head... timing is good tho as it all needs to be handled so i can have what little time i have left to go in peace, and garden and do photos and be the artisan i was born to be.

AMeN

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"I wouldn't trade experiences for a million bucks... but I wouldn't give you a nickel for anoither minute of it"

i MUST have a small taste of enjoyment right... dont i at least deserve that?

Legal advice needed, rights for low income/disabled?

Legal advice needed? ok need legal advice for calif? Im low income disabled, medical and own a home, which is financed private party.she just called and wants me to sign it over to her and make a room for her to come weekends so she can get a heater installed and stuff fixed, guess to sell it. been here 29 years... now what will i do? be in street? and shes bossing me? just when id gotten back up and on my way here i go again, can't win for losing.