Thursday, March 14, 2013

Why I went hard money loans... SURVIVAL!


more bits n pcs

divorced… he didn't pay as ordered and i lost… 
went to HUD got aproved and had 3 yr grace…
then couldn't finance, so they sold out to a bank in fla pennies on dollar… well they forclosed on me for 117k
thats when the crooked RE guy who helped us do original paper work got involved…
(saga/drama/soap)he bought out for 57k.. long story
so i pay HIM 400 per month and one day my house gets posted but long story between here 
he didn't pay a dime he borrowed or set me up
had to get an atty in town, and thats when crook #2/3/4/? steps in..

.. Thatcher (local crook) took it over
400 mo interest 3 yrs..
OK i chose that cause WHERE could i live or rent for 400?? and ive fought for this place since loss in divorce, because he didn't pay a dime the judge awarded me + the home so 400 was just great for me and tuff to make at same time..

then before it up since PRIME property he wanted bad to point of drooling…
well the Lord put Darleen back into my life and one visit and stories.. before she left she offered.. jumping ahead.. big problems that day at bank also.. cops had to be called. (drama/soap)

then 400 a month was still ok and for 7 straight yrs never a day late ( I TAKE PRIDE IN THAT) given my losses due to men n divorces.. and other crap

so i'm dying and who hell cares whats against it… gave me peace and thats all i care

mid 90's had to empty home due to court order and moving bk in i had heart attack, (STRESS) im fine! but got atty and got disibility for post traumatic stress n trauma as well as health… now thats all a mess… cuts, changes, nobody knows anything any more..

also mid to late 90s was a victim of a violent crime.. lost 6 months there and that was AFTER i was on SSI….


told ya i need to write a book... but can't spell and to hurried to get it down w/o loosing thoughts...

Here's the "jest" of it....



Here's the "jest" of it all
she had money in stock market, 02 went bad and she was loosing.. so came visited and after knowing my old hard money loan was bout up.. she said she would do it if i paid her the 400 a month.
so she set up papers and I signed, 7% on 60k
shes 1st trust deed lender
60k stay'd intact and i paid 400 month interest only,
9 yrs straight never one day late...
then ending '09 things went bad and programs was cut and credit dried up SO I gave her a notarized IOU for 20k and stated redo loan papers and add it so if i croaked she'd be covered... (i'm ill n ssi, borrowed time) time to regroup as i was i'll on top of all the cuts and losses. Calif went broke.  well she never did papers,  but left me alone for almost 3 yrs... then jan she wanted me to start paying on the loan... and would take 200
I said ok but buying firewood (have no heat) i couldn't yet, and dog needs a vet.
so feb i tell her ok and i will march
well i sent her 100 on 4th and 100 on 8th
she accepted...
then 1 week later 3-11 she calls and right outa blue starts demanding stuff like i have to sign home over to her and shes bringing someone up to clear n throw out as she demanded a room to stay in while works being done to sell it... now i ask bout me? she said if i have to i'll bring you home but im getting that house fixed up and will come up weekend..
I bout croaked right then n there.. SHOCK'd UNEXPECTED...
later i emailed saying no dont come, i need to seek legal help... and wrote a mutual friend to tell her not to come and yes id starting paying and this was such a shock!
now have someone looking into it and join to social services tomorrow for legal advice, but i am gonna need an atty
what a mess.. 

Monday, March 11, 2013

well more CRAP just when things got better..

well chit.. lady wants me sign house over to her, says will lease bk to me but i don't trust her… also demanded i clear a room so she can come n get heater installed and house fixed for sale… CHIT CHIT CHIT, peace sure didn't last long ... see told you long ago im cursed… just when i started paying her again im so upset

Legal advice needed, rights for low income/disabled?

Legal advice needed? ok need legal advice for calif? Im low income disabled, medical and own a home, which is financed private party.she just called and wants me to sign it over to her and make a room for her to come weekends so she can get a heater installed and stuff fixed, guess to sell it. been here 29 years... now what will i do? be in street? and shes bossing me? just when id gotten back up and on my way here i go again, can't win for losing.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Survival with a new attitude!


I see the "LIGHT" once again, a new phaze has started… Was able to find 2 decent people (again) to help, this time a whole different attitude and list of priorities!
Feels so good. Sales been worst since open over yr ago, BUT turns out i needed dslow time to deal with all thats happened last phaze and now to this. 
Had to finally give up and throw in the towel and accept whats put before me presently. Now turning out I can get some stuff outta here, and bless others at same time they helping me. some bartered, some pay … some free whatever, I just know it has all changed drastically so fast!
Been able to pay for needed help, roofs starting to get patched, stuff repaired, stuff outta house again… and priorities once again back to whats most important for my hopefully final stage of survival.
Never was good at delegating authority, rather do it myself, many can relate. well that held me back long enough, i needed to let go and let others do what i'm not able or just to take that burdon off me… sure doing better (esp mentally) last few days since this all came about!. unreal. attitude adjustment and what a pleasent shock. like i'm waking back up for the final phaze of peace and blessing others once again.
even pleased i was able to start paying some to a dear friend/lender who saved my home years back…
Day at a time, its a big start for me once again, but if all works out i can have more my home back to what needs be to for present activities..
get the shed roofed and get boxes outta garden room, sell whats my best stuff, give what they want, and trash rest that way i can have my garden room back, i can have room for my tools n crafts out there and then get my wherehouse more organized for all these sales.
Thinking a deal with the "Genius" to partner on others items needs to be sold, and let me do etsy, gardening n whatever. so theres where i learn to become a boss not a desporate person in need like i become.. NO MORE and those who know me KNOW once my brain kicks in the positive drive and creativity has no limits, I've achived the impossible many times and i WILL once again and perhaps just perhaps buy me some peace before times up.
Thnx ALL
lots more n updates coming, the good as well as the bad..
this "eccentric, eclectic, desert pack rats" gonna do her best once again to have peace and get this all flowing once again since i've been given a new attitude on life and whats most important on what times left. True meaning of "Let go and LET God"… well i do believe and i was messing it all up from my overloaded brain. lol
time will tell but here we go again, hope its my final journey….
had to hit rock bottom, now upwards once again, refreshed, new life, creative juices starting to flow once again, all different mind set... now need my health to improve from the 84#s i now weigh...

Friday, March 8, 2013

March BREAKTHRU...

well it got bad as you all know… and havent been doing well at all lately, so I now have found help, and by trading my pathfinder for labor I now hope to be able to get the leaks fixed, and some things fixed again, and see what happens.
clearing out some stuff agin, slowly and depends how i'm feeling, and today I got rid of 2 printers and and misc stuff, little by.

so glad Springs bout here cause i NEED get out in yard n garden! I NEED that healing from the son and nature, already have stuff started indoors to go out, and now I have my assistant and a guy working all misc jobs, so far so good and its been over week, he comes now n then cpl 2-4 hrs and cuts scrap wood, moves stuff for me, just misc needs and hes smart like me "Jack of all trades and he knows Puters n selling.. so may work out a deal together on stuff i can't sell on etsy.. say he could list and sell and id split… sounds fair to me…

then long as i have sales, i'm trying to get stuff done so not so much stress. 
Taxes still over my head, i got so stress this last time i'm now 80#s.. sucks.. but i'd bout given up and LOOK now.. had to hit bottom and also timing seems good for a NEW start and maybe this is a GIFT i'd been waiting for! I have paid it foward many times over thru life to point i felt cursed, maybe this will be my glory!
Day by Day ok.. wish i had a granny to cook for me lol, 

feeling pretty good all way round since yesterday, and think so much different now, + Can get stuff outta here now and he can sell misc now and then as turns up for labor, and working off truck so maybe … time will tell, as none ever worked out so far, but i am on borrowed time here and just perhaps i'm gonna have a good spree for a bit before the end..sell my vintage and dolls and collectables on etsy, rest can be used to barter, sell or ?
so who knows.

Just wanted to let you all know that I AM gonna give it all i got (aint much) but its a start again. Yes I do believe it maybe my gift from the LORD .. since i finally let it all go.
HE can know bless us all.
I sure have a change of attitude also and feels good to also be able to pay back and also bless others big time this last time around. 

cont' later

Friday, January 18, 2013

Firewood SCAMMERS


also he's scamming county HEAP program! charging them $350 a cord for AVACADO (sells here $175).. THEN when he delivered THIS is what i got!
that pallets laid out for a cord wood stacked!
4x4x8

then he dumps on drive and we have words he ask "why i even care its FREE!"
also said why stack your just gonna burn it.. i stated i need that drive for my lady who helps me… GRRR!




THEN i pay a guy $20 bucks to stack.. LOOK not even 1/2 cord looks like to me..
PUBLIC N COUNTY needs to KNOW this!!!!! HEAP is loosing also


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Go figure....

got papers today, now the gal (family) who betray'd me so, filed to get unemployment, stating work required to heavy lifting, as she's pregnant.
shaking head, after they worked only 3-4 per week and got paid for 11!
awful

Friday, December 14, 2012

"so it turns out it WAS all bout money!...


so turns out, it WAS all about the money…

“so turns out, it WAS all about the money…”
they set me up to believe i was “family”…
called me grandma and everything, made me feel good at first as i’ve never had kids, little on grandkids, and have to admit this was nice in the beginning.
told me many times, it wasn’t bout the money, they were here to help with anything i needed, so i set them up to be my care providers, 1st was not much, only 20 hrs a month, but later on and after physical, they up’d it to 44..
now problems started when they were only working like 3 -4 hrs max per week, i was in need, and waited many many time till it was convenient on them… big mistake, trying to help hurt me big time
wasnt long till i felt like greed set in, as id been giving them a LOT of household stuff, and jewelry and things very personable to ME, that i must get rid of or will get dumped.
trying hard to get all my affairs in order before i pass, as not to leave all this mess for someone strange to sort thru n whatever, being i’ll past few years i’ve had no one so this meant a lot and i thought id really found some family to care!
they even gave me a small pooodle pup so my jazzie wouldn’t be so lonesome and i had some more love around and more to even get up for…
well shoulda had a clue when in large groups they all spoke spanish and hardly ever would translate, so i kinda just stayed at home n let a few at a time come visit, was nice we played puter games and played dominoes and all sorts nice things, i felt a lot better than i had in years… even talked about their family members buying my home, and all kinds stuff.. shaken head
then the hrs and needs started gettin to me, they were getting paid for 44 hrs and only working like 12-16 of them! all month! well i needed help, so ask lady i know if she would be available part time, thinking they could split/share hrs, as they wasn’t earning and i was needing… well thinking it “wasn’t bout the money” duh.. i talked to them many many time in over a month, so told them what i planned, well chit hit roof there… NO WAY i was told.. all or nothing, and then they wanted the pup and tried to grab it outta my arms (5 months they never came to play/feed/buy food/nothing) now that night ok, next night no, they came with keys, thrown at me says over, n tried to snatch pup, tug of war, sherrifs called, they lied says it was theirs, so i was made to had that baby over! BROKE my heart! so vindictive! after ALL ive given and shared, and they knew my pain first hand and to do this to me! SHOCKED, still depressed, hard to even function, then Jazzie hard time eating also, missing her playmate, and me missing what i loved so much, alls in my life is Jazzie n me, and it was a blessing as well as a joy to have new life for us here.
all diestroyed over MONEY! GREED!
shaking head… i’m sooo dumb, i want SO to find someone who can deal n handle n help and looking like i’m goin out all alone and no one knowing anything bout zip… boy thats not a great thought after the life ive had…
its been a month + now and i’m still just devastated, function very little and care less, do best i can to deal with daily stuff as comes up… talk bout a raw deal, and grave mistrust! after knowing part of all ive been thru and to do this to me!
i’m done, ready to go HOME PLEASE Lord!
Not a lot left to live for except get rid more stuff..slow process
*elderabuse?

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

We MISS you "Beauty"


We MISS you "Beauty"


tears flows just feeling the pain
hard time dealing with this major loss when i have so little left to loose. Devastating me big time



Cant handle this loss! killing me, down right CRUELTY!

family? what a joke turns out


family? what a joke turns out

Love never dies a natural death…


Love never dies a natural death…

“Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”

Soooo Hard.....


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Set myself up ROYAL to be screwed!


November 20, 2012    1.    Leo (7/23-8/22)

S tart flexing your muscles, today, and using your power. It's only when you start using it that you start to understand how much power you have. If you are a little bit more demanding, you will start to understand that you can be in control without being too bossy. It's good to challenge people to meet your high standards -- they appreciate the fact that you believe they are capable of great things! You have to be willing to be disliked if you truly want to inspire other people.



11/20/12 10:51 PMyou have no idea of nice things, i gave them lamps, furniture, trash compacter, exercise equipment, jewelry for all! sports equipment even collectables, art work that was my personal treasures, crafts, special things princess house crystal… on n on

Monday, November 19, 2012

Last pic of Beauty,

this was the last pic of the pup "Beauty" 2 days before it all went down.
hurst me her dad flat out lied to the officer so it was taken away.
i'm devestated



sniff, sniff

UPDATE

Called Social worker

well i called my worker today. ask about filling a complaint. she said since i'm the gals only person, wont do no good cause she's not in their "registry" … whatever… but she did tell me about the abuse hotline and i can "think about it"
wasnt pleased.
she said she talked to them and they seemed like they would be here for me IF i was in dire need! NO F'n way they will ever be allowed back into my life! NEVER ever. she said well they said i threatened them. I said yes, i told them was turnin em in for animal abuse as 2 dogs chained all time in back yard AND birds in outside cage has pecked each others till not much feathers and one was bloody, yes i did .

so not real pleased with outcome.


Friday, November 16, 2012

dagutzyone's pot luck: Elder abuse or ???

dagutzyone's pot luck: Elder abuse or ???: Don't know what to do? well as of March this year, family across street was approved to do Home care for me thru IHSS. problem is the da...

Elder abuse or ???



Don't know what to do?

well as of March this year, family across street was approved to do Home care for me thru IHSS. problem is the daughter was one on record. i was awarded 20 hrs a month at that time. worked fine 1st few months, as convent and close.

I'm terminal w/HepC n a shut-in past 3 yrs so dire NEED care, well did physical and IHSS gave 44 hrs a month which I felt was great. The family would take me shopping for food IF i was able or they brought me stuff I needed.
problem is wasn't putting in but 3-4 hrs and kept saying they would, they just busy.

meanwhile august, the daughter brought a brand new puppy to play w/my dog as poor thing gets lonely when I'm i'll in bed. Was to be a playmate while she worked a job at taco stand in town. Now her dad n mom did all the work when they did work. and the gal never took the dog home one night, so i ask for food n whatever, well she brought huge bones, NOT food. and only one time she even took the pup for awhile.
so few months back, I say, "well guess the pup is mine, as you've never feed, played, provided for so now its mine". she said " Ok but when the breaders/friends come over they wanna visit it" I agreed.
meantime they all have problems, she 's pregant, quits work in town and dad had heart attack (stress) then son (brother 19) so far be it from me to demand much less absoluty necessity.

Things calmed some this last month so cpl times I tried to talk to them, saying they will start doin my work, and care more for me, and every times never happened, I even gave them a blank calendar so they track their hrs, not for my benifit as i know, but thought they would see they were only workin 3-4 hrs per week vs the 11 gettin paid for.

now im a total shut-in and a lot of time i'll in bed and they never once cleaned my toilet, or washed my dishes, yes a few times vacumed, cleaned out fridge and lots good stuff, BUT now dad gets mad when I told him i need to share those hrs with another person so i have help when i need it, and it will help them, as I never saw them weekends past 3 months or so.  he right out refuses! Its ALL or nothing!!! well i was shocked, didn't know what to say. well they never came over so I called the other lady to come as i needed stuff. well Dad saw the lady here and got hot, later came over threw me keys said its over, and daughter went to snatch the pup outta my arms, after 5 months with me!, Sheriff gets called, 2 1/2 hrs later office came in 10:30pm and talked, then went across street n talked, now cause dads mad he LIED to the officer and said it was daughters dog. HURT OMG im so broken now from past devistation, its last lap and I dont need this stress.

make it really worse, since March,  i've been giving then TONS of things, as i must get rid of all possible, I just ask to save my jewels n treasures and most precious things to me. I have no one for many years now, no family no kids, no loved ones, and being isolated I shut out the world when most couldn't deal with the death factor.
furniture, bedding, lamps, crystal, jewelry, crafts, kitchen appliances and TONS n tons stuff… and they just flat out took advantage of me

n LIED bout the pup i loved so dearly past 5 months 24/7 knowing that it will possibly devastate me!
I simply in so much grief, n shock i don't know what to do

im ssi low income and i paid/cared/boarded that baby/pup and I get this crap????
been trying to list some my old memories since childhood, on etsy and sold a few when i feel i can be active, then also they took stuff to mail, now i'll again, stressed to max and past week no help or anything so closed down site  "vacation" mode till figure out next step?


also mom couldn't go on record as care taker as she not legal for another 2 yrs when daughter turns 21? beats me i havent a clue. They were like a family at first, even made me a 66th H/B eve with cake n baloons! Touched my heart. then to turn into vultures? or whatever … Victimised once again, can't handle or take any more.
life sucks and my only hope is that the Good Lord WILL take me home soon.

on my good days i use my brain productively as much as possible. Helps the stress level and my health as some my personal stuff has found good homes to be passed on. All the rest i care less about now and why giving to them to use or sell or whatever.. sad.
That pup was so needed n loved, gave my baby something to play with and also makes me get up and care for something, and get tons of love from something depending on me. I'm a basket case… im in SHOCK