my road of survival just fell in a sinkhole….

My road of survival, just sprung a sinkhole….

well once again, my road of survival has encountered another sink hole. This time worse than ever before, and bout as deep as they come.

Set myself up once again, and got taken advantage of… difference is this time is the end! No one lined up to help. Totally stranded except to pull a stranger off the "system" and I can't handle even having to interview, as i have a bad time with strangers from a bad past problem, when i became a victim of a violent crime, all from a stranger at a yard sale i had. Now i can't even hold a yard sale, run any ads where someone has to come to my home. Just a mess. and now to be ill and loose all help, I worry bout life now.

Maybe my prayers are comin to pass but i didn't ask to suffer more or go out alone…
I have found can order some stuff online but no fresh food, and my tortoise needs lettuce n stuff.. dogs have plenty if i run out they eat my food, when we all run out gues thats it.
Thats not my concern right now, bothers me as to how is all this gonna go down? everythings so outta whack, never in a million years i'd thought anything ever like this would happen, but it has. I'm responsible! in this case i just wanted WORK/HELP for the hrs being paid for… never happened… so after 9 months and an attitude from the person, just had to confront her. didn't work she QUIT!

now all alone, ordering online and wondering whats next, not well and so much bed time lately …all  is weighing so heavy. Tried so many times to set everything up and always fell apart, so here I am. everythings a mess, not one part isn't messed up and i'm tired, worn out. no battle power left. now all the medi-cal changing and i havent a clue… totally stump'd…also discovered that the fact i don't wanna face is "I can't do it no more."…

thats why every things a mess.. i tried, bit I CAN'T and "can't " never could, my own words… a dose of reality

don't even know what to say anymore.