Tuesday, November 27, 2012

We MISS you "Beauty"


We MISS you "Beauty"


tears flows just feeling the pain
hard time dealing with this major loss when i have so little left to loose. Devastating me big time



Cant handle this loss! killing me, down right CRUELTY!

family? what a joke turns out


family? what a joke turns out

Love never dies a natural death…


Love never dies a natural death…

“Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”

Soooo Hard.....


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Set myself up ROYAL to be screwed!


November 20, 2012    1.    Leo (7/23-8/22)

S tart flexing your muscles, today, and using your power. It's only when you start using it that you start to understand how much power you have. If you are a little bit more demanding, you will start to understand that you can be in control without being too bossy. It's good to challenge people to meet your high standards -- they appreciate the fact that you believe they are capable of great things! You have to be willing to be disliked if you truly want to inspire other people.



11/20/12 10:51 PMyou have no idea of nice things, i gave them lamps, furniture, trash compacter, exercise equipment, jewelry for all! sports equipment even collectables, art work that was my personal treasures, crafts, special things princess house crystal… on n on

Monday, November 19, 2012

Last pic of Beauty,

this was the last pic of the pup "Beauty" 2 days before it all went down.
hurst me her dad flat out lied to the officer so it was taken away.
i'm devestated



sniff, sniff

UPDATE

Called Social worker

well i called my worker today. ask about filling a complaint. she said since i'm the gals only person, wont do no good cause she's not in their "registry" … whatever… but she did tell me about the abuse hotline and i can "think about it"
wasnt pleased.
she said she talked to them and they seemed like they would be here for me IF i was in dire need! NO F'n way they will ever be allowed back into my life! NEVER ever. she said well they said i threatened them. I said yes, i told them was turnin em in for animal abuse as 2 dogs chained all time in back yard AND birds in outside cage has pecked each others till not much feathers and one was bloody, yes i did .

so not real pleased with outcome.


Friday, November 16, 2012

dagutzyone's pot luck: Elder abuse or ???

dagutzyone's pot luck: Elder abuse or ???: Don't know what to do? well as of March this year, family across street was approved to do Home care for me thru IHSS. problem is the da...

Elder abuse or ???



Don't know what to do?

well as of March this year, family across street was approved to do Home care for me thru IHSS. problem is the daughter was one on record. i was awarded 20 hrs a month at that time. worked fine 1st few months, as convent and close.

I'm terminal w/HepC n a shut-in past 3 yrs so dire NEED care, well did physical and IHSS gave 44 hrs a month which I felt was great. The family would take me shopping for food IF i was able or they brought me stuff I needed.
problem is wasn't putting in but 3-4 hrs and kept saying they would, they just busy.

meanwhile august, the daughter brought a brand new puppy to play w/my dog as poor thing gets lonely when I'm i'll in bed. Was to be a playmate while she worked a job at taco stand in town. Now her dad n mom did all the work when they did work. and the gal never took the dog home one night, so i ask for food n whatever, well she brought huge bones, NOT food. and only one time she even took the pup for awhile.
so few months back, I say, "well guess the pup is mine, as you've never feed, played, provided for so now its mine". she said " Ok but when the breaders/friends come over they wanna visit it" I agreed.
meantime they all have problems, she 's pregant, quits work in town and dad had heart attack (stress) then son (brother 19) so far be it from me to demand much less absoluty necessity.

Things calmed some this last month so cpl times I tried to talk to them, saying they will start doin my work, and care more for me, and every times never happened, I even gave them a blank calendar so they track their hrs, not for my benifit as i know, but thought they would see they were only workin 3-4 hrs per week vs the 11 gettin paid for.

now im a total shut-in and a lot of time i'll in bed and they never once cleaned my toilet, or washed my dishes, yes a few times vacumed, cleaned out fridge and lots good stuff, BUT now dad gets mad when I told him i need to share those hrs with another person so i have help when i need it, and it will help them, as I never saw them weekends past 3 months or so.  he right out refuses! Its ALL or nothing!!! well i was shocked, didn't know what to say. well they never came over so I called the other lady to come as i needed stuff. well Dad saw the lady here and got hot, later came over threw me keys said its over, and daughter went to snatch the pup outta my arms, after 5 months with me!, Sheriff gets called, 2 1/2 hrs later office came in 10:30pm and talked, then went across street n talked, now cause dads mad he LIED to the officer and said it was daughters dog. HURT OMG im so broken now from past devistation, its last lap and I dont need this stress.

make it really worse, since March,  i've been giving then TONS of things, as i must get rid of all possible, I just ask to save my jewels n treasures and most precious things to me. I have no one for many years now, no family no kids, no loved ones, and being isolated I shut out the world when most couldn't deal with the death factor.
furniture, bedding, lamps, crystal, jewelry, crafts, kitchen appliances and TONS n tons stuff… and they just flat out took advantage of me

n LIED bout the pup i loved so dearly past 5 months 24/7 knowing that it will possibly devastate me!
I simply in so much grief, n shock i don't know what to do

im ssi low income and i paid/cared/boarded that baby/pup and I get this crap????
been trying to list some my old memories since childhood, on etsy and sold a few when i feel i can be active, then also they took stuff to mail, now i'll again, stressed to max and past week no help or anything so closed down site  "vacation" mode till figure out next step?


also mom couldn't go on record as care taker as she not legal for another 2 yrs when daughter turns 21? beats me i havent a clue. They were like a family at first, even made me a 66th H/B eve with cake n baloons! Touched my heart. then to turn into vultures? or whatever … Victimised once again, can't handle or take any more.
life sucks and my only hope is that the Good Lord WILL take me home soon.

on my good days i use my brain productively as much as possible. Helps the stress level and my health as some my personal stuff has found good homes to be passed on. All the rest i care less about now and why giving to them to use or sell or whatever.. sad.
That pup was so needed n loved, gave my baby something to play with and also makes me get up and care for something, and get tons of love from something depending on me. I'm a basket case… im in SHOCK